I tried to write something earlier, but I’m not funny at the moment. I’m not sure why. Life is going well and all that, so it’s not some emotional problem. I just don’t have jokes at the moment. I think maybe it’s because I watched an episode of Mike & Molly the other day, and I’ve gone off comedy temporarily. I may go see the doctor about it tomorrow. Maybe he’ll give me some pills to make me funny again.
In the mean time, I’ll tell you a story about how much of a cunt I am.
My second ever girlfriend was a girl called Mrs X and I had a great deal of difficulty breaking up with her. That isn’t to say that I couldn’t do it, I just struggled to stay broken up with her. I was getting pretty damn good at the actual 'breaking up' bit toward the end. But the relationship kept mending itself and I wasn’t aware of how it was happening until long after we parted ways.
The problem was this; Mrs X had a very beautiful face but she was a slightly heavy girl, nothing excessively problematic, just a little too big for a comparatively skinny fellow like myself. Can I just quickly point out that there were, of course, other reasons why the relationship didn’t work out. I mean, yeah, I’m an asshole but dumping a girl based on her weight would be taking it to a whole new level.
Anyway, Mrs X was a little bit on the ‘big’ side but every time we would break up, it would leave her so emotionally distraught that she would virtually stop eating whilst she mourned. After a couple of weeks, we would inevitably catch up. We would ‘meet for coffee’, a term that all ex-couples know actually means ‘We are both not getting sex, so how about a quick round for old times sake?’ but unfortunately when we did, her pain-powered super-diet would leave her looking exceptionally fine. I’d take one look at her unexpectedly slim legs and jump back aboard the sinking ship, happy for a month until normality was returned. This routine happened four times before we finally managed to break things off permanently and I had to vow to myself that I would never give in and ‘meet for coffee’ because I would simply begin the cycle once more.
I think there’s probably a lesson in there somewhere for someone. There’s also maybe some potential for jokes, but as I’ve already said, I have none this week. I don’t even have any pictures with amusing comments, so that’s why I’ve chosen to put a picture of Yahoo Serious at the top of the page. He doesn’t need amusing comments.
Sorry if it threw you off.