1) Sit down behind a pretty girl on the bus and whisper into your phone ‘The spider has spotted the fly’ and then get off at her stop.
2) Approach a girl in a bar and say ‘Let’s get you back to my place and out of those wet clothes’. When she asks ‘What wet clothes?’ throw your drink at her.
3) Display chivalry by placing your coat over puddles, walking on the outside of her and wearing chain mail. Refer to condoms as your ‘knight-hoods’.
4) Chicks dig tattoos. Get a tattoo on your penis of a bigger penis.
5) Compliment ladies that you meet. Ladies love compliments. If they’re overweight, congratulate them on how little they’re sweating.
6) Set the mood by playing music before intercourse. I like to play the banjo duel from Deliverance prior to sex.
7) Tell a girl that if she sleeps with you, you’ll donate money to save some kid in Africa. Then she’ll pretty much have to, or the kid will die and it’ll be her fault.
8) If a girl says ‘No’, ask her again in French.
9) Leave your number on a bank statement just after payday and leave it in the change room of an expensive clothing store.
10) Kidnap all the cats you see in your street and then respond to their owner’s ‘Lost Cat’ posters until you find a hot one. If she agrees to go out with you, she can have her cat back.